Why are dentists so scary and annoying? I’ll give you a list right now.

1. Nothing can ever be accomplished in one trip if it requires work. I dare you to refute this. I had a root canal in tooth number twelve and so far I’ve made four trips to the old whittler of the pearly whites.
Verdict: Annoying

2. When an x-ray is taken, the taker o’ rays x-its the room! Why am I left in there all alone, sans lead bib? And where did those lead bibs go? I at least like to have a semblance of safety in alone in there.
Verdict: Scary

3. Just the word Root Canal sounds invasive, hollow, terrifying, painful, and the list goes on. Yet to make matters worse, this root canal around, a boyscout relic of the past looking apparatus was used to heat up the tools. Said apparatus involved an open flame, clearly visible in my peripheral, lingering near my cabeza. “Great balls of fire,” I thought, please don’t let the dental assistant drop it.
Verdict: Scary

4. Speaking of dental assistants, what’s up with the assistant here doubling as secretary? We’re in the middle of a surgery, patients are in the waiting area, the phones a ringin’, I sure hope that the assistant doesn’t move her arm or this mouthful of water will run down my face and onto my neck.
Verdict: Annoying

5. Crowns never laughed before, beanstalks never grew. There’s nothing funny about getting a crown. Not only do I have to visit a separate doctor, because lord knows the root extractor can’t double as a crown putter onner like our fair assistant-secretary, no no, I have to wait weeks for the mold of the crown to be made and the putting on of the crown takes multiple visits itself.
Verdict: Scary, Annoying, and a little Gassy.

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Filed under: News on March 18th, 2008