9 Secrets to VIP Treatment in Panama Clubs
Here’s a guide to help any Joe look like money when entering a club in Panama, being treated like a rock star, and winning the best seat in the house.
Nightlife in Panama is very fun and much of it´s centered around the infamous Calle Uruguay which is home to a good handful of bars and clubs you´d not think out of place in Miami. The decor is posh, the people are sexy, the music is pumping. But to get into these clubs, partiers often have to wait in lines, pay entrance fees and once inside, the clubs are often packed with so many people that you can barely shoulder your way up to the front of the bar.
I am by no means a Don Juan, nor do I even know how to dance really, though I have researched carefully the way people act in clubs here and how they get treated like rockstars. If you live here, you may have your select bundle of clubs who treat you and your friends well. If you´re just visiting though, you´ll need some backup ammo on how to make the VIP treatment smooth as expected.
So here, in a few easy steps, is how you bypass all the denizens standing in line, skip the silly and expensive entrance fee, and head straight for the corner VIP table without reservations or giving away your firstborn in the process. Once you´re in the club, invite any guy or girl to join you up there and you´re good to go…
1. Show up with women…lots of them: Granted, this is easier said than done, but managing to show up with a mass of girls (especially ones that are clad for the club) makes entrance a whole lot easier. Arriving with
lots of girls in tote also makes you look like a pimp. It also appeals to the doormen who´s job it is to keep the crowd select and boob-filled. This is no real secret, but in Panama it´s accentuated, especially if the ladies are showing some skin.
2. Request bottle service: You can do this in New York City too, however, there it´ll cost you around $500. In Panama, at the most expensive clubs, bottles in the main floor are $50 and the VIP sections around $125. Sharing a bottle with friends won´t only score you friendly bouncers at the door, as they make a good cut off every bottle sold, it´s also a good way to save money seeing as though everyone in your group is probably going to have a few drinks anyway. Just don´t be the guy stuck putting down his card when everyone else is passed out on Absolute.
3. Tip the bouncer: This is no real secret, and can´t necessarily be done the night of the event. It´s better done in build up, so that you´ve developed some sort of rappour with the big guy to let you and your friends through when the lines are long. $5 or $10 handed in secret to a bouncer is worth its weight in gold. Tip them on your way out and you´re golden for the next time too. If you don´t feel like tipping, try to thank the bouncer on your way out of the club if you can remember — I do this every time and they act like I briefly showed them the holy grail. They remember.
4. The gringo shuffle: Don´t ask me why, but people with light skin are treated very well here. Dressing like a gringo (no guys, that doesn´t mean Adidas flip flops and ripped cargo shorts) will portray the fact that you´re there to have a good time (and probably spend money). Showing up with gringas (female gringos) also suggests that the party will get wild: as if in the States every bar is packed with wet t-shirt contests and bar-top dancing. This will help is promote the image of the club, as everyone loves a drunk American girl, and thus get you an easier path in.
5. Confidence: It´s all or nothing here fellas. You gotta be balls to the wall, walk right up to the door, and act like you´ve been there before. Anything but this all-in mentality and you´ll look like an idiot who has never seen a line before in his life. Additionally, the fellow club-goes will think you´re an ass, trying to skip even though you´re not the coolest cat on the block.
6. Dress the part: Clubbing attire is not my specialty (see the same pair of tan Converse I wear every night out) although I can aptly identify people who´s it is. Wearing nice clothes in Panama means a lot, and the doormen at clubs will recognize it immediately, thus putting you above the rest of the minions in their cheap-o gear.
7. Speak with ¨the man¨: This secret might set you apart from the rest. At the entrance, don´t solely go on the response you get from the stamp lady or the bouncer. Instead, ask to speak with a manager or boss, explain your situation to them (truthfully, you and your friends want to get in and have fun) and see if he´ll hook you up. Often times, these are the guys who make the decisions — not the door people.
8. Lie or Cheat: This one takes perhaps the most creativity and the most thinking on your feet. A couple good scenarios I like are ¨we are from a TV channel thinking about filming here¨ and ¨I was already inside earlier in the night, can you just let my friends in since I already have a table?¨ You can also try to just slither in or walk in the exit as if you were just on a phone call. Or pretend like you´re leaving, ask for a stamp in case you want to come back.
9. Show up early: A lot of clubs in Panama won´t charge you if you show up around 9-11. By getting in early, you can also score good seats or tables. Only thing is, you´ve got some down time before the true crowds arrive, which is a good time to get acquainted with the staff. Once the night is really kicking, they´ll be at your beckon call.
Do you have any good suggestions that are better?
| Written by PanaMatt |  |
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Filed under: Country Guide, Living & Retirement on June 25th, 2008
I’ve also found that if you walk up to the Bouncers. If you go to the Bouncer who always stands on the right and wears a backwards baseball cap, if you shake his hand, give it two squeezes and tickle his wrist with your pointer finger, he’ll let you in for free.
Worked twice for me.
I’m sorry about your accident.
As testimony to my article, I was out on the town last night and was stifled at the door to Guru (Clubbing Cult). Had to pay $10 to get in.